Siren's Song Read online

  Siren’s Song

  Banshee Exodus Book 1

  Alexi Raymond

  Published 2014

  ISBN: 978-1-62210-070-5

  Published by Liquid Silver Books, imprint of Atlantic Bridge Publishing, 10509 Sedgegrass Dr, Indianapolis, Indiana 46235. Copyright © Published 2014, Alexi Raymond. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author.

  Manufactured in the United States of America

  Liquid Silver Books

  http://LSbooks.com

  This is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents and dialogues in this book are of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is completely coincidental.

  Blurb

  Gabe, the lead singer and lyricist of Banshee Exodus, holds the fate of the band in one hand and his heart and soul in the other. They are one song away from a record deal, but that song is the one that continues to elude him. Performing has always been his first love, but lately the pressure has taken away his spark, and the thought of quitting altogether is coming more often.

  Victoria has been through the ringer. Verbal abuse from her ex has turned her into someone she no longer recognizes. If it weren’t for Banshee Exodus, she wouldn’t have the strength to rebuild and figure out who she wants to be. Victoria’s self-confidence is shot, but she’s certain that if she can find the right path, she’ll become the person she knows she’s meant to be.

  After spending a night with Gabe, Victoria is sure she’s found that path. She's quieted the voices in her head telling her she’s being irresponsible long enough for a great night, but with the morning sun comes a new blow. Gabe has been hiding who he is—someone she’s been talking to online with a different name and the lead singer she just slept with. Suddenly, trusting her heart seems like it could be a mistake.

  Dedication

  For all of us who simply want the freedom to be.

  Acknowledgements

  This book started because I wanted to write a song from a sentence or two that wouldn’t get out of my head. I’m terrified to close my eyes, afraid he’ll wake me in the morning, see I’ve been cryin’. Sometimes things happen in our life that shakes us, but there is a reason—there is always a reason.

  To Jen, you are my partner for life! Thank you for always being there and listening to me whine in the wee hours of the morning. And for all the cartwheels.

  To my NaNo group, thank you for not kicking me out when all I could do was cry. You guys are talented and kind and a true inspiration!

  Miss Sarah Marie. I wouldn’t be half as much fun without you. Our days of singing in the office and nights of karaoke can never be beat! Thank you for being true and loyal and fun!

  Mom. I hope you see something familiar in this one. You’ve always been a “can do” mom who always puts her daughters first and always taught us to be strong—someone who leads by example. Here’s to a million more moments of learning and loving and laughing!

  To Chrissie, who made me cry. Cuss. Throw things. Close the laptop. Reassess if I really should write books at all. When Terri said “hard” editor…I had no idea. You did a lot of work to make this piece nice and shiny! My writing will undoubtedly be better because of you and no doubt easier for the next editor! Also, sorry for my overuse of exclamation points! Oops.

  Terri, thank you so much for the talks before things got serious. You put me at ease in a situation I was ready to run from. It’s nice to make a friend instead!

  The LSB Art Department. Holy wow. You guys blew me out of the water with this cover! I love it so, so, very much!

  Shaun, I promise you every single one of my heroes has a part of you in them. It wouldn’t make sense for me to try otherwise. I can’t imagine love without you being part of it. Stella, Baby Shi, and Little D, Mama loves you all! Thank you for your warmth on cold writing nights.

  Last but not least, to the readers. Thank you for choosing to spend some time in my world. I hope you’ve fallen in love and made new friends with all of the people in my head. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  Chapter 1

  Screw this mess.

  Victoria pushed the ear buds farther into her ears and furiously pushed at the volume button on the strand. Tears threatened her eyes, but she’d be damned if she let that son of a bitch make her cry again.

  The strong bass and raging guitar wailed inside Victoria’s mind, the lyrics swimming around in a frenzy, making her dizzy with their strength. She could do it. Live on her own with no outside support, and if she got lonely…Who was she trying to kid? With the massive hours Victoria was going to have to pull at the restaurant, lonely wasn’t a word she was likely to use.

  It might even be a nice break. To choose to be lonely would be a huge difference from what he’d put her through for the past three years. Victoria shook her head, feeling her hair flounce out to the sides and settle back on her shoulders. She’d finally done it. She’d given him the ultimatum and received the answer.

  The worn cushions of her hand-me-down brown couch sank beneath her. She relieved her feet from the shoes she’d worked in all day, examining the scuff marks marring them while rubbing her toes. Hours upon hours put in on her feet, each one leaving a mark on the plastic and vinyl that made up her shoes. Little scuffs of memories marked on the white canvas. Getting rid of Todd was one hell of a scuff mark on her life. A memory she’d never forget. Hopefully she’d forget everything else about him, though.

  The apartment was quiet, how it would be every day now that Todd had gone. Victoria rubbed at her eyes, her mind replaying the way Todd had let himself in and nonchalantly assumed after working all day that she would want to go out and buy him dinner.

  “Asshole,” she muttered. Her gaze flickered around the apartment. She’d have to clean up, get rid of all Todd’s junk, and maybe then she’d get his nagging voice out of her head. Maybe soon she’d find someone who made her smile.

  Banshee Exodus’ lead singer’s voice poured into her, helping settle her down. The bands lyrics and style changed with almost every song. When she put the playlist on, she needed the high adrenaline to keep herself together. Now, though, Gabe’s voice crooned to her, a lullaby of comfort and reassurance. She’d made the right move; what came next was most important now.

  Ugh. Rest was next. It was a big decision, a big move in her life. From now on she’d have to work every shift she could to afford her apartment and necessities.

  Unable to clear her mind from her worries, Victoria logged into the Banshee Exodus fan site. The near-blank right-hand column of the screen held the participants usernames. Only about five people were signed in, and somehow none of them were talking. But at least one was familiar. WriterGuy had been there for a large part of her sleepless nights. Small talk and a sort of friendship had blossomed between them. Well, as much of a friendship as she could have with a guy over the Internet when Todd was constantly looking over her shoulder. Mostly they’d only shared excitement over the band’s music, but the break from reality had been important to Victoria.

  The majority of the screen flashed bright white, inviting the users to leave a fresh mark on the page, but it seemed no one was interested. Whoever the other people were, they were clearly signed in but away or chatting privately with each other. Victoria huffed and set herself to typing. These were people she could relate to; someone had to be willing to chat. Besides, staring at the blank screen and blinking cursor wasn’t going to wear her eyes out any faster than staring at the dark ceiling in her bedroom. And she didn’t want to revert back to that again.
Loneliness called from the empty bedroom with its dark walls to where she sat on the couch with her open laptop.

  SongSiren: What’s up everyone?

  It seemed futile as Victoria sat hugging her knees against the faint chill that seemed to come with insomnia. Someone needed to be on, someone that understood her. She’d felt the longing to talk to other people a lot lately, not the only thing her now ex-relationship left her wanting after. Shivers traced down her arm. Todd’s things still surrounded her. If no one answered, maybe she’d take a hot bath and let the smooth silk of her favorite nightgown sliding against her skin help make her feel like a new woman. A woman that wasn’t completely and utterly alone.

  Willing someone, anyone, to write back, she chewed on her fingernails. With each mashing of her teeth on unsuspecting skin, she couldn’t help but see the new obstacles in her life floating through her mind. And there was no one to vent to and help her figure it all out. Todd had helped her pay the bills. She didn’t have many friends left outside of work because Todd couldn’t interfere with those friends. Ugh. It was going to take more than a hot bath and a silky nightgown to bring on her shiny new world.

  With a small ding, a new message popped up in a separate browser window.

  WriterGuy would like to enter a private chat, would you like to accept?

  Victoria’s heart felt the relief of companionship, and she clicked the Yes button to enter the room. For what seemed the hundredth time in the month, WriterGuy was the only one awake and talking when she was. Out of instinct, Victoria caught herself glancing at the bedroom door, history making her feel guilty to be talking to another man. But Todd wasn’t there.

  One of her favorite things about WriterGuy was that he knew the lyrics to Banshee Exodus’ songs even better than she did—which was a feat considering she was convinced they wrote songs about her life. Songs that had, in fact, helped her to change her life. Together, she and WriterGuy had compared songs and life experiences and reveled in knowing someone out there “got it” the way they did. Todd would have had a heart attack if he’d known. But he didn’t and now it wouldn’t matter. Victoria inhaled deeply. Nothing much had changed, not where WriterGuy was concerned. He didn’t realize she’d thrown away the only relationship she’d had in recent history. She didn’t have to feel ashamed that she didn’t know how she’d pay her bills. He wouldn’t have to know she was terrified, that she was scared Todd was right: she was a silly girl no one else would want to put up with.

  Chapter 2

  WriterGuy: “Hello there. Here again I see. You really are a big fan, huh?”

  Victoria blinked back at the screen. It was true; she had logged more online hours with fellow BE fans in the past month than in the previous years combined, but was it that noticeable? A wave of self-consciousness came over her, fear burning her insides that she appeared as pathetic online as she felt in real life burned white hot before sinking into the bottom of her stomach. A sad sigh fell from her. She didn’t even have the fight left in her to leave a smart-ass comment. He was right. Anyway, she was here all the time. Still, a small piece of her didn’t want to let it go so easily—especially to a guy she didn’t really know.

  SongSiren: Yep, big fan. Not here more than you though?

  At least she put him in his place a little. She didn’t want to be rude, but she would be damned if he would talk to her the same way Todd had. She reread WriterGuy’s words, but it was Todd’s voice in her ears. She had loved Todd, wanted nothing more than to be with him forever…a few years ago. But their relationship consisted so much of comfort and routine, she didn’t know how to break the cycle. Wasn’t very comfortable when he was calling me stupid and looked like he was going to hit me.

  WriterGuy: You can call me Administrator if it makes you feel better. I run the site.

  His response made sense. No wonder he was always around. He had to watch the fan base in general, not just her. No one would focus so intensely on her, and she knew it. Victoria turned her wrist to chew on her pinkie nail. Maybe Todd and I can work it out. Maybe we need to talk about it.

  SongSiren: Oh! Okay, that’s not creepy then. I guess I am here pretty often. Admin, huh?

  Do not ask about the band. People sounded so creepy when they badgered friends of celebrities about them, but she couldn’t resist. And it was his own fault for hesitating. This band wrote songs that connected with her on every level; some days they were all that got her through, and WriterGuy knew it. How did he not mention it before?!

  SongSiren: So you’ve met them?

  She’d never even gotten close to them before. She always seemed to miss the occasional meet and greet, and if she saw them after a show, Todd was with her. His scoff cut through the noise of even the loudest bar. “Why would they care to meet you? They’re going to smile to your face and move on.” The words still stung. It was more than Todd being possessive; she feared he was right. They had tons of fans. Why would they take note of her? But her love of the band was more than a feel for the music. They expressed things in her life she couldn’t tell anyone, especially Todd. Feelings of hopeless dedication, searching for adventure while never being able to really go anywhere. Victoria could close her eyes at the lead singer’s voice and let his smooth tone transport her to a world where he was running through the streets searching for someone or something, some feeling he hadn’t captured yet. She could feel how much he meant the lyrics he sang. The way the words left his lips made them more than just lyrics to a song. It was as if he was pushing a piece of his soul out, giving it freely to anyone who would connect with him enough to hear the words from his heart. Even at concerts, where the visual of Gabe singing his soul out on stage was more than enticing, she always found herself eyes closed and heart open to the lyrics.

  The abused nub of her pinkie leaked a coppery taste on her teeth, bringing her attention back to the computer screen.

  WriterGuy: You could say that. What’s keeping you up so late? Or are you in a different time zone?

  SongSiren: Boy problems. Lots on my mind. I’m in Indy, its 2:30 am.

  WriterGuy: Hey! I’m in Indy, too! Sorry about your mind. Do you ever try and write about it instead? Sometimes that helps me.

  Victoria chuckled at his kind words; of course he wrote about his problems. His screen name was WriterGuy.

  SongSiren: No writing here, but I am going to pop in a CD and hit the sack. You know me, Gabe’s words are pretty much my own! Goodnight!

  WriterGuy: Sounds good, hopefully everything works out for you.

  Victoria left the sunken cushion of her couch and let her legs flop in front of her on the short walk into her bedroom. The darkness coiled around her, silence encompassed. With a defeated tug on the sheets, she crawled in. The space inside her felt as dark and stagnant as the apartment around her.

  Chapter 3

  As the lead singer and public information manager for his small but growing band, Gabe was the one who had set up the site and maintained the chat rooms. The muscles in his neck were tense from slouching over his keyboard, tired but unable to sleep. He kneaded into the muscles slowly, unknotting them one at a time.

  Unlike many insomniacs, he knew exactly why he couldn’t sleep. Aside from SongSiren, both Banshee Exodus’ members and fans were becoming restless. Not without reason. It was time to grow up as people said. He needed to land them a record deal, or they needed to get real jobs. What bothered him the most wasn’t deciding whether to make the jump or quit—it was that he wasn’t sure which it was he wanted. SongSiren always made him feel better about what he’d help create with the band, but the thought of touring and having to play performances every night made him uneasy. Some rock star he was turning out to be.

  Gabe pushed the keyboard away and picked up his guitar, strumming a few chords and humming along. All his life, music had been a constant. These days he used it to try and help him sleep, not that it was doing much good. His bed was disheveled, sheets strewn about thanks to last night’s restless sleep.
Insomnia had become a real problem. After putting the guitar back down, Gabe ran his fingers through his bleached hair. He stretched its natural curl and dragged his fingers along the rest of his skull. Dark roots were beginning to show. Technically he was past time to bleach it again, but what was the use? The hair, the image, it was all part of the band. If he didn’t have a band much longer, he didn’t have to keep up the persona. But then who would he be? Gabe let out a huff. Whoever he was, it wasn’t helping him much lately.

  The band’s recent struggles hit him like a sledgehammer to the gut. A band needed songs and songs needed lyrics, which were his domain. The pressure rested on his shoulders, kinking his neck and cramping his brain. There was no way he could write when he was so tense. Gabe flung himself against the messy sheets. After what felt like an entire night’s worth of staring at the ceiling, his eyes were finally dry enough they insisted on closing to stop the burn.

  * * * *

  Morning light streamed through his small window, but it was the rapping on the door that woke him up. Holding his head in his hands as he perched on the edge of the bed, Gabe rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Slowly his focus came back, and he could see around the studio apartment. For a moment, in the still quiet he’d become used to, the thought occurred to him that he’d imagined the noise all together.

  A rough voice called through the closed door. “Gabe, come on, man, open up!”

  After rising from bed, he twisted the lock until it clicked and stepped back from the door as his drummer ushered himself in. Gabe rubbed a hand over his stomach as he walked back to his bed, automatically reaching for his guitar as he neared it. “What’s up?”

  Calm as ever, Ti’s fingers were loosely wrapped around the worn out belt loops of his jeans. “Come up with a new tune, bro. We’ve got a gig. A decent one, too.”

  His voice held none of the relaxed beat-loving guy Gabe had met in college, but times were hard. Ti was still chasing the dream, the deal, the song that would put them on the map. Gabe had all but given up on the map, but the rush of watching people sway and sing along with songs he wrote or performed for them still perked his senses.